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You gotta kittens. You got a
little kitten outside me

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wandering around, boom done.

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Adam curry, John C. Dvorak.

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Sunday, April 30 2017. This is
your award winning give our

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nation media assassination
episode nine to five.

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This is no agenda.

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watching paint dry in Washington
DC so you don't have to and

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broadcasting live from the
darkness scores here in the

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capitals. Goldstar state Austin
Tejas, morning, everybody. I'm

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Adam curry and from Northern
Silicon

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Valley where there's no paint to
dry. I'm John C. Dvorak.

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Sullivan Buzzkill.

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Yeah, I watched it.

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Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

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Yeah. But that's not my problem.
And I had a I've had a rough

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weekend. John rough weekend. How
rough Was it very rough. You

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know, we're in the middle of our
move here.

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Oh, that's right. You would not
even hit home. You

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know, I actually have I am at
home. It is just like you're in

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a new home. You know? No, I'm in
the old home because they came

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in to pack up Friday. And they
packed up Tina's House on Friday

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and Monday is when we move. So
I've been living amongst boxes,

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which has two very serious side
effects or even a side effect.

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No paper cuts. No, number one is
the dust. Because oh my god is

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so much dust and I have the HEPA
filter running 24/7 I'm trying

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everything. I got humidifiers.
And I woke up this morning and

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my glands are swollen. My ears
hurt is like completely screwed.

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But that's not the worst. Oh,
no. No, it's been. It's been

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very emotional. Now the keeper
away, let's

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get this straight. Why?

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I'm going to tell you. So the
keeper is a minimalist, which I

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like

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we like minimalist. We would
like a minimalist. Yes. Yeah.

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Yeah. So

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we'd like that. And I said,
Well, you know, we're gonna move

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in together, I can certainly get
to minimalism going. And so I

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don't have all that much stuff.
But I have this one closet,

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which contains just huge crates
of stuff that I've been showing.

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That's

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why she tweeted the pictures.
Yeah.

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Well, I asked her to tweet the
pictures, because here's what's

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going on. Even and I have I had
well, I will never make a joke

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about you being an archivist
ever again. Because I'm an

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archivist. And when I saw when I
saw the stuff that I've been

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schlepping around for over a
decade, I mean, I'm talking just

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big bundles of wires. He said, I
must have 15 mixing boards,

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compressor limiters, you want a
USB cable, you can't name a USB

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cable, I don't have. I've got 17
old laptops. I've got

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hundreds of UI, you know
laptops, and I have

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I know and I've gotten this
really good laptops, you know,

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like the old the iBook, the
clamshell iBook. I've got one of

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them.

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Oh yeah, that's a winner then
one of

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the first trans tranny laptops
that goes from a laptop to to a

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tablet. Yeah, but I really like
an old one. I mean, we're

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talking 10 years,

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the first iteration of those
things. Yeah, it was the

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Microsoft. But here's the
problem.

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I have had real emotional issues
throwing stuff out.

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Oh, now I get it. So you're
pointing the finger at me? Who

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has it completely under control?
I have thrown out more laptops.

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And I've kept to just make
yourself feel better?

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Well, there's a couple things.
One, I can't be throwing these

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laptops they made? Who knows
they may even contain Bitcoin, I

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don't know what's on them. So I
have to figure out a way to to

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destroy them. Or you know, you
can't even boot them all up. So

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I don't know how to get the data
off or how to unless I just

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stick a drill into it. No, no, I

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know exactly what you should do.
Oh,

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this is what I was hoping to
hear.

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Take the hard disk out of each
one.

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Well, you can't take a hard disk
out of a Mac.

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There's got to be some way to
break the Mac, you can throw out

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that thing. Although that's a
very collectible Mac. It's one

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of the worst Mac's ever made.
And

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you're telling me it's an actual
collectible. See, now I have

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even more trouble getting rid of

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I think that is a collectible.
So the other ones are not but if

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you wanted to, I would pull the
hard disks out of every one of

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them. And then if you'd want to
try to recover what's on the

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hard disk, you can do that with
some you know some equipment.

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I have drives that are FireWire.
I don't even own a FireWire

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machine anymore.

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Just drill them then and throw
out the

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toss them see then there's the
88

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Wait, wait, take the laptops
that without the hard disks and

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donate them to a local museum.

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You think there's a museum
that'll take all this crap?

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There was what got to be one
around the country somewhere.

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I mean, I even have Do you
remember the cube the cobalt

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cube? It was cobalt. Yeah, I
have the original cobalt cube.

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I've

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got my

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thank you. I'm a hoarder. I just
have to say it. And I took this

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all in yoga, because now you
feel better. I hope because of

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my therapy. I was able to take
this all the way back to

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childhood. You know this?

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Oh, yeah. Money your favorite
toys away?

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No, I think I think I was
lonely. And I'm like,

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oh, yeah, Jewish sisters.

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Believe me, when you're the
eldest and you got two younger

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sisters is lonely at the top.
Yeah. And I think that you know,

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just like I had a lot of stuffed
animals on my, on my bed like,

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these are my buddies, my wires
and everything. John, it's, I

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was I was ill. I actually kind
of got ill just thinking of,

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what am I doing with I must be
1000 pounds in weight that I

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have separated to be either
given away, donated or thrown

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out.

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Yeah, my wife would routinely
because she likes to clean up.

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She actually she doesn't like to
clean up but she gets on a Jag

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and she likes to clean up. Yeah,
so she'll start cleaning and my

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daughter's worse. I have to be
careful with her

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with the cleaning because you'll
throw good stuff. Oh, no,

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she just she she I can see her.
She's looks left she looks

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right. She doesn't see me
looking at her. boom in the good

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stuff goes into the garbage bag.

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What is she doing in your
office? Man? What does she do?

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She can

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clean this. My daughter in
particular can make this office

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spotless.

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I mean, I actually had the
conversation you know, I have a

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big Yamaha keyboard. And Tina's
like, what are you gonna do with

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that? I said, Well, I can't this
can't throw this out. What have

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you got? You'd give that away?
Give it to Salvation Army or put

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it on the show. But wait,

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well, that's an idea. Just like
what if what if Elton John drops

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by and then he says all Tina,
I'd like to play song for you.

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But you got keyboard. Oh, you
threw the keyboard out? Oh,

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sorry. No song for you. Wow.
Yeah, that's projecting the

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future. Yeah. Or Bruce Hornsby
could have Oh, sure.

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Any one of those guys. How often
have they showed up in the last

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five years? Oh, you know what?
I'm in Austin and give me Oh,

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yeah, place where nobody knows
anything about music.

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So it's been, but seriously, it
was really surprising to me.

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One, how just how much junk I
have collected and have been

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schlepping. For 10 years. This
agenda is stuff that is 10 years

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older than 10 years Creative
Labs. mp3 players. Are you

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kidding me?

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Yeah, that's that's a goner.

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I have experimental stuff in
here. It's just now

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here's what I do is I'll give
you some more advices another

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way you can go. All right.
There's some stuff you've got

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that is probably worth something
to someone. Yeah, not much. But

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I'm sure there's some

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what's not much what's?

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Well, I think the cobalt cube
might be interesting for someone

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to collect. I mean, who is
serious collector that has a

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collection that's neat. And
organized. So you can put a list

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of stuff you have, this will
make you feel a lot better. You

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put a list of stuff you have
that you didn't need to get rid

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of, and it'll go to a good home
if somebody claims that

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otherwise you're just gonna
throw it out. Yeah. And but

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there's you do have artifacts
that are actually art,

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such as what is actually art,
this is a great way to explain,

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Hey, baby, this is actually art,
we should display this. And

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so I've got three display cases,
I got an Ikea cancer, that kind

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of a box with a glass thing in
front of it. All three of them

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filled with weird looking mice.

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Oh, yeah, I have that for Morse
code keys. That Okay, that is

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okay. I think because I think
Morse code keys are indeed art.

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These handmade keys are
beautiful. I really enjoy them

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here. But that's about the only
thing I'm not going to display

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computer stuff that's plain,

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no a pipe, but a bunch of mice
all tangled up together in a box

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like that is actually quite
interesting as art per se.

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And this coming from you is even
more interesting that this is

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your ODE you have a collection
of mice.

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Oh to the mouse. Well, I started
noticing like an accumulation of

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mice that I'd ever used. You
know, the ball mouse isn't one

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of those anymore. The the I
still have the Microsoft mouse

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with the metal ball. Which is an
extreme collectible as far as

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I'm concerned. But who's gonna
buy these things? So I stuffed

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them in these boxes and present
and we hung them on the wall. It

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looks it looks like it looks
like some sort of art does. It

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does it

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another reason why it's two
separate homes really works.

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Well, that those that actually
that would work at either house.

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It's a very attractive piece.
You'd be surprised No, I'm

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just, I believe Yeah, I believe
you.

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And so there's that you could
I'm sure that they'd like their

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little mp3 player from Creative
law. Here's a cool idea. Take

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that mp3 player. Go to one of
those tap plastic places. By

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joining get this a pocket that
is but there's Lucite stuff that

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you can you can make a mold a
cube mold pour this plastic in

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there then push the thing down
into the into the plastic before

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it dries yeah and then let it
solid solidify into a giant

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plastic cube with with the mp3
player embedded.

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Wow that'll be worth 50 bucks on
its it won't be worth anything

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but it will

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look cool

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anyway, so a period of growth

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I'm sorry to hear this because
of all grief you've given me a

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but be genuine notice this stuff
when you move from the last

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place.

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Um, did I not explain this is a
psychological issue that goes

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back to my childhood This is
blank out? No, I've just I've

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always been like, ah, you know
how I can throw this out? Okay,

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let me try this. So running into
the minimalist. She snapped you

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into realization is that what
happened?

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I was ready. I was ready to.
I've just been ready. I've been

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00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:08,520
ready to give this up. I just
died and all of a sudden that

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hit me and I wasn't quite
prepared for it. It was

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frightening. Yeah, I mean, I
live and I'm okay now but man it

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was it was a big deal. And and I
felt bad because I've chided

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you. And let me tell you per
square footage, I know I have a

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denser pot, you know denser pile
of crap. And

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just because you don't have as
much room to spread out

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exactly, exactly. But has just
been dragging this crap around

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for decades. I can't build
that's what was so frightening.

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Why am I doing that? What is
wrong with me and I realize it I

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don't want to get I don't want
to let go of the little boy.

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I don't think that's it. Now, I
don't think that's it at all

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00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,010
what I think it is. I think it's
a problem with a lot of

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Hoarders. Yes, are let's just
call ourselves archivists, with

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a lot of archivists. You see
value in all of this stuff, and

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you don't like throwing money
away. You're cheap. You're cheap

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00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:04,560
tightwad. That's what it really
amounts to, though. Wait a

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00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:09,150
minute, let me look at this old
copy of Lotus jazz. You know,

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00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,280
I'll bet you this is worth 10
bosses

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00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:15,960
jazz Wow. Then that could never
get Lotus jazz to work properly

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on the Mac floss it just never
did the never dialed in they're

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00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,660
supposed to be like a dial in
thing or the you know, because

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it was yeah, it was the full
suite it had loads of jazz.

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So So you have this that you
think has value this is because

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I've watched a horror show and
it's it always boils down to

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this is worth something i Why am
I throwing money?

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You're right you're right but on
the other night, a little boy

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anything

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is bullcrap. You're trying to
come up with some romantic

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reason that you're a cheapskate.

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Now I'm far from a cheapskate
and you know better than that.

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I'm not a cheap well, you're

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you don't spend money wisely,
but it does you don't throw

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money away. Oh, but I'm gonna
throw away guy.

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But John, we're talking about
okay, there's gear. But when you

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look at the amount of wires,
yeah,

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every wire is worth five bucks.

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You're rich. You're a
millionaire.

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That's right. Go podcasting. I'm
quitting. It's quittin time,

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everybody. All right. So that's
been my weekend so far. No, no,

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no, no, no, this is good. I feel
good about it. I really do.

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Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. And I
in a roundabout way, but I'll

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just say it. I apologize for
making fun of you as an

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archivist. But this just proves
you are what you accuse others

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of this is just solidify. Yes.
Right. Yeah. Anyways, so between

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all the boxes last night, I of
course watch two things. I

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watched the President's speech
in Harrisburg, which was I was

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led to believe it was meant as
counterprogramming, I think was

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much smarter. It wasn't
counterprogramming was on just

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before the White House
Correspondents Dinner and what

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seaspan did is they now just so
people who who don't know every

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year, how long has this been
going on going for a while this

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White House

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correspondent started during the
Roosevelt administration may be

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Yeah, and he

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probably didn't like it. But the
idea was the White House

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Correspondents Association, all
the end, it's a lot of them.

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There's a lot of guys and gals
1000s They have a big party,

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which up until this year was you
know, it got progressively more

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showbusiness like, and the
hashtag was nerd party. You

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know, they go and it's so cool.
We got all the cool journalists

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and like a wolf blitzer. He
looks good in a tuxedo. Oh, and

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he's sitting with Kim
Kardashian. It was a complete

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douchebag fest, and totally
douche

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baggy with all those Hollywood
types. Yeah.

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And the idea is that it's it's
really meant to give out

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scholarships to journalists and
some awards, some cash prizes,

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to movie prizes. And then the
President speaks and he's

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allowed to excoriate the press a
little bit with a couple of

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videos and some funny jokes
Obama was very good at it. And

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then they typically have Reagan
was good at it too. I don't

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remember that would have been
that he was gonna have a

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comedian come up and he rose
everybody. That's the basic idea

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and this year,

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I think the model that's most
recent is the comedian rose,

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everybody that didn't know then
the President comes after that.

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I think you're right. Yeah. So
this so this year, the President

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said, No, I'm not coming screw
you guys. And they and

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everything that he broke the
whole thing it broke the mold

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broke everything they didn't
have the red carpet guy was all

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ready to go. I know you don't
want to do it. But I was ready

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to just do it for myself. Just
to make Tina laugh and like, Oh,

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watch this. I'll do the red
carpet was everyone's wearing

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and it didn't they didn't show
that. No C span cut when they

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were already in and getting
started. And it was by far the

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most boring thing I've ever seen
in my life. Well, I'm

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gonna start a tape.

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I'm gonna be rack it up. Which a
tape Do you want?

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I will refer to it throughout
the show. Ah, but and but I want

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00:16:03,150 --> 00:16:05,910
to let's get the first part
going. He's I had this thing

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running since actually, before
we had to reboot. And I want to

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just put on Bob Woodward. Yeah,
I just wanted to put a little

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bit so we can hear what the pace
of the show is like, and then

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throughout the rest of this
show, we'll play. I'll just cut

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00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,840
back to it because it's playing
right now as we speak, we're

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00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,140
just going to cut right in on
him. And he hears what he has

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00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:25,740
said this is the

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00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:32,910
document destruction, a massive
house cleaning at the Nixon

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reelection committee, a money
trail, an organized well funded

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cover,

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just to have these two guys,
Woodward and Bernstein, you

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00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:48,180
know, who both have been CIA
assets currently, or in the

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00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:52,020
recent past was laughable. Like,
why don't you get your boss's up

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00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:54,450
on the stage people? Look,
here's your here's your boys.

305
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,530
You do what they do.

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00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:03,930
Clark McGregor, then the Nixon
campaign manager called Ben

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Bradley, the editor of the
Washington Post. I

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00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:10,470
mean, just when you hear that a
dad editor of the Washington

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Post, I'm like, oh, pass the
weed. I can handle this. It was

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so boring and so bad. And
although of course, the comedian

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00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:23,820
gets rave reviews that I think
he

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00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:28,860
bombed Well, except for that,
too. Okay, we're done with

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00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,020
Woodward's. We'll come back to
him later and we'll come back to

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00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:33,630
him of course. Okay. So yeah,
I'll just let it play in the

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00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:37,830
background and we'll cut in and
out. The comedian wasn't funny.

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00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,380
Let's start with that. I don't
know who gave him rave reviews.

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00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,740
In fact, the couple of clips
from the comedian,

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00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:47,130
you just don't need to look at
the face bag to know about the

319
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,030
rave reviews.

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00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:54,180
W h CD Joe. This is one of his
jokes and this is typical of his

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00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:54,810
material.

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00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,540
Hey, has anyone seen Rick Perry
since he became energy

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00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:58,170
secretary?

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00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,280
I have a feeling he's sitting in
a room full of plutonium waiting

325
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:10,050
to become Spider Man. That's
just my hunch. Yeah,

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00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:17,610
it was is this like great
material? He was nervous. He was

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00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:20,700
he did have one the funny and
only funny Lanzoni open he says

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00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,980
Welcome to the last Washington

329
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,430
the last White House this season
or the season finale. I think he

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00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:26,670
said

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00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:31,710
something like that. And here's
another one of his fabulous I

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00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:34,470
don't think he put much effort
into this either. And he should

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00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:37,260
have hired some other outside
writers but it does seem that he

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00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:40,230
did or even used the Daily Show
writers was maybe his what he

335
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,330
did, is tried to second gag.

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00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:47,610
Now a lot of people think Steve
Bannon is the reason Donald

337
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:50,970
Trump dog whistles to racists
was fun and that is just not

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00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:58,620
true as Steve Bannon. Steve
Bannon here I do not see Steve

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00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:14,700
Bannon. I do not see steeped in
not see Steve Bannon. One more

340
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:18,930
time I see Steve Bannon

341
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:22,920
that's on their level.

342
00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:28,560
So saying Nazi Steve Bannon is
funny too. But did you know that

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00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,930
I think that the room was
sweetened? Because you could

344
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,930
look out there and there wasn't
anybody laughing at all there's

345
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,630
a few people smiling very few
well, you know

346
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,390
is with the sweetening business
I pay a lot of attention to

347
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:44,130
this. There's when they have the
room mics depending on who's

348
00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:47,010
where you know, things can sound
really loud even though it may

349
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,980
be one person just near one of
the one of the ambiance

350
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,760
microphones. Built magazine I
just point out as an aside,

351
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:58,200
says, this is all bull crap.
There was no booing of Ivanka

352
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,130
Trump at the event and we're
built to do that yeah yeah the

353
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,920
thing we debunked on the last
episode and you know same thing

354
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,100
and maybe there was some some
room noise that was Mike near

355
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,730
the press pit in this case you
have nothing but the probe sure

356
00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:15,420
there's all kinds of noises
going on but no laughing No I

357
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:18,210
didn't hear the only the end
when he went into you know you

358
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,520
guys are protecting the First
Amendment that this isn't

359
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:24,750
important and blind. God bless
America and then everyone's like

360
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:28,140
all standing ovation. Yes, we
are important. We are very

361
00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:30,570
important. No, we are important.
douchebags.

362
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:35,640
What are they? We're important.
Well, the counter program was

363
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,630
actually and it was at the same
time with Samantha Bee show. Oh,

364
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:39,720
I

365
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,880
didn't realize she had that.
Okay, interesting.

366
00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:45,569
So she did an hour a press
correspondents dinner. That was

367
00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:49,589
at least five times funnier.
Yeah. Even though it was just

368
00:20:49,589 --> 00:20:55,469
still. Trump hate Trump hate.
But it will. I mean, here's an

369
00:20:55,469 --> 00:20:58,409
example of one of her jokes,
which is just a Trump hate joke

370
00:20:58,409 --> 00:21:02,069
that was funny to this audience.
I find it to be slightly

371
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:06,149
annoying. I don't like these
kinds of you ridiculing people

372
00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:08,879
for their appearance. But this
is Samantha V's or Ranga Tang

373
00:21:08,879 --> 00:21:09,239
joke,

374
00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:13,290
has convinced 88% of his fans
that you're an enemy of the

375
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:17,130
people. You basically get paid
to stand in a cage while a

376
00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:20,700
geriatric orangutan and his pet
mob scream at you. It's like a

377
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,110
reverse Zoo.

378
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,370
I don't li